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I was pretty mad in that last blog entry.  I've let it go now.  I think I've done my best not to let that anger get out of control and hurt anybody... no insults... a lot of people who think other people are just doing the dammage to themselves anyway, including myself.  It's hard to make the decision to take responsibility for yourself and actually try to change your life for the better.
I'm looking into some different careers, while doing lots of volunteering and essays.  I might graduate as soon as next year, and move on to specialize in a career, because I'm not too interested in completing an honour's and going on to grad school.  I don't think it's going to be that beneficial to me... not going to make me much more money, just waste more of my parents.  So I'll probably leave and support myself somewhere and complete a college grad certificate.  I've considered five different fields:  scriptwriting, advertising, radio (I know I'm brave), new media, and publishing.  I'm going to eliminate one more off of that list and then apply to the colleges with those programs, since most of them are unique and only offered at that one college.  Yes!  I've finally found enough money to support myself and do what I really want to do, and that is get a career started that I'm really passionate about at a good school.

You know, I've heard about everybody who's reading my blog.  My comments editor seems to be deleting everything for some reason (I'll try and fix that if I can) but anyways, people are reading.  Some of them are not particularily nice.  Well, people are people, they have both their good and bad, but what I'm talking about are people who are so stuck in their own world and way of thinking to wake up to reality, and therefore choose to read whatever text I put on a website a certain way.
You can read my blog as past regret, on failure, but guess what?  I have confidence, love, and faith in myself.  Sure I have rough times, when I'm not sure of what I'm doing, but GUESS WHAT PEOPLE???  Everyone does.  That does not mean I've made a poor decision, it just simply shows I'm a human being and I'm VERY CAREFUL about the decisions I do make.  Geez, maybe now people understand why I ditch certain friends that encourage bad behaviour and self-doubt and post bull about me on the internet.
Sometimes other people don't trust my decisions, even once I thought my parents didn't when I dropped the collaborative.  They thought I was being arrogant and not being modest enough to take that little Dean scare.  But guess what?  Now people like Rob and Eric are dropping out of there too - smart people - and almost all the others still in that collaborative stream (I won't mention what the program is out of manners) think it's a joke.  I don't mind posting it on the WWW, because I know it's what they think and they wouldn't mind me posting that publicly either.   It just goes to show, I was following my heart the whole time, doing what was right for me, and I don't regret it.
Maybe most people don't understand that because they've never felt that total utter confidence in themselves.  Well guess what people???  I do, and I'm not afraid to post it world wide.  So don't judge any little human heartaches I have to be insecurity, because that's life, that doesn't mean I don't know what I'm doing or I'm "throwing my life away."
I feel a bit like a celebrity right now when I say "they think they know, but they really have no idea."  Peace.

Hey everyone,
I don't mean to complain.  My life is so exciting right now.  I feel so happy, I have so many great opportunities.  It's just REALLY INTENSE.  I know I am time, and that I should not commodify time because that's foolish.   Ouch!!  Music midterm...
I think I know what I want to do for a career, I think.  I think I want to become a digital artist of some kind. . . or should I study culture instead?  In Anthropology or ICS?  Or should I keep trying for just a plain honour's specialzation in MIT?  Or do a double major?  Hmmmm . . . or maybe I should just finish MIT next year.  At least I feel confident, even if my mind comes up with all these different possibilities.
At least I'm not totally consumed by infatuation like I was a year ago.
Well, that's my little ego-centric life right now.  Hopefully, I will make the best of it.  Take care

I just have so many different talents and passions, it's so tough just to pick one.  I mean I'm happy to be in the program MIT but I just don't know which direction to go in.  Which talents of mine should I choose to make money?  That will make me happy?  I feel like I'm getting closer than I was before, but it's still like groaping around in a dark room.... still not sure.  Well, a flash of insight came to me while I was meditating, and I thought that I should do art.  I've just gotta let go of some of these loves, and find out what's right for me, eh?
I think the trick is to take it one decision at a time, and try to make the best of each one.  It will eventually paint a path for me.
And what the hell is happening to me???  I just keeping getting involved in all this new stuff, which is great and inspires me.... but I keep getting more confused about who I am and where I'm going in life.  I like this semester, but it's ending soon.  You know, some of the most unexpected things you do end up being the most rewarding.  Life is much more real and beautiful than any ideal in your mind.  I just wish I had a clearer guide.  Buddhist, Baha'i, Christian... ehhh it's all about being a good person.  I guess that's one thing I've decided upon:  I don't want to be completely self-motivated.
Well, I think religion is a great guide, but there's always room in my mind for change.  God may or may not be there, hmmm I don't know because of my beliefs with impermanence and so on, but I believe that he's there.  Knowing and believing is different.  I'm just saying, if someone scientifically proved that there was no God tommorow, I'd survive.  But I'll keep praying for now because that along with meditation seems to be a good guide.  I just wish they were more specific.
I'm so scared.  The only guide I know is just to try to do what's right in my heart, but even when I try to do that, people don't always seem to trust me.  I've lost friends, and my parents were kind of upset when I dropped MTP.  I still feel like they don't entirely trust or understand me sometimes.  Well, it's probably hard for them to.  I'm just beginning to trust myself.

The last photo here is my dear friend, Brian.  He's awesome.  Gotta love the classic mug.
and that's the end of the photos! (for now)

Now this section of photos features some lovely men I met at the bar.  Not shown is Derrick, another lovely guy I met at the international school.

This is Grace.  I met HW, Ming & David from the international school in london through her!

Here are the three guys I met on that Sunday night through Grace.

I know, this is silly but it's MING!!

And to finish, a picture of "Daffy" and Shamila - they are both very sweet.
I saved the funniest pictures for last.  Check my blog for part four of the photos!

I promised you this guys, and it will continue in four parts.  Here are some more people who have come and gone over the years with their hilarious stunts.

Oh, the anime nerds.  Just kidding, I was one of them two years ago.

Another old buddy of mine from grade nine, Kate Hutchinson.  Yes, those were the days...

Here is Kate's nerdy boyfriend named Ray.  I'm just kidding, he can drive a snowmobile

This is Alina and GoNzO~ (aka Mevam, Malgosia, Mal, Gosher, oh good times from grade 8)
That concludes part 2 of my photo album stolen from various people's MSN photos.  Stay tuned for more funny party pictures.

Since I can’t get the photo album function to work on MSN spaces, and I’d rather use my blog anyway, I decided to make a post with pictures of a bunch of people I’ve met in the last couple of years.  I stole them all from friend's blogs because I'm too lazy to actually take pictures from my digi cam.  Like a memories photo collage with captions.  I thought it’d be really cute.

This the incredible Christina!     Here's Trevor, Megan, Amber, and Carmen (self-explanitory)

The photos bring back such happy and sometimes strange/crazy events.  Awww.  To be continued with more photos!

My mom just got a blog.  It only has one entry in it, but I really like it!  I'm going to add her blog to my blogroll eventually, but right now I'll just leave her link in this entry.  Her blog address is elena.bloghi.com.
Ewww my blogroll isn't working right now.  I'm going to get a new one.  Half the blog addresses in the old one didn't work since they were MSN spaces anyway.  Later!